Sunday, January 29, 2012

ROOSTER

A man was driving down a quiet country lane when out into the road strayed a rooster. Whack! The rooster disappeared under the car in ... Read more »

A LITTLE MONKEY

A police officer came upon a terrible wreck where the driver and passenger had been killed. As he looked upon the wreckage a little ... Read more »

Saturday, January 28, 2012

JUGGLER

Juggler, driving to his next performance, was stopped by the police.  'What are those knives doing in your car?' asked the... Read more »

AGONY

What is the definition of Agony?  ........ ........ ........ ........ ........ ........ A one-armed man hanging off a ... Read more »

COMMITMENT

Where do you have to go to find a man who is truly into commitment?  ....... ....... ....... ....... .......  A mental... Read more »

YOU SWALLOWED MY SOCK

A young couple decided to wed. As the big day approached, they grew apprehensive. Each had a problem they had never before shared with... Read more »

RUDE PARROTS

This lady approaches a priest and tells him, "Father, I have a problem. I have these two talking female parrots, but they only kn... Read more »

A 17-YEAR-OLD GIRL

The wealthy, high-society mother of a 17-year-old girl was concerned that her daughter was having sex. Worried the girl might become p... Read more »

KNOCK, KNOCK

Knock, knock!   Who's there?  .......... ........... ........... An escaped serial killer!  Read more »

THREE TOUGH MICE

Three mice are sitting in a bar talking about how tough they are. The first mouse slams down a shot and says, "I play with mouse ... Read more »

DIVORCED BARBIE

A guy was driving home one evening when he suddenly realizes that it is his daughter's birthday and that he hasn't bought her ... Read more »

T-SHIRT AND VIBRATOR

Three men were drinking at a bar -- a doctor, an attorney and a biker. As the doctor was drinking his white wine he said, "For ... Read more »

FAILED INVENTIONS MUSEUM

Austria Opens Museum of Failed Inventions Read more »

HARPOON POLICE CAR

TOP 5 LAZIEST INVENTIONS

Friday, January 27, 2012

BE STRONG HONEY

A prisoner escapes from his California prison where he had been kept for 15 years. As he runs away, he finds a house and breaks into i... Read more »

THE AWKWARD MOMENT

NEW COMPANY PROCEDURE

Please read below: Company Policy: Effective from January 2012 Dress Code It is advised that you come to work dressed acco... Read more »

THE HUSBAND STORE

A brand new store has just opened in New York City that sells Husbands. When women go to choose a husband, they have to follow the ins... Read more »

PEANUTS

A tour bus driver is driving with a bus full of old aged pensioners when he is tapped on his shoulder by a little old lady. She of... Read more »

ELEVEN PEOPLE ON A ROPE

Eleven people were hanging on a rope, under a helicopter. Ten men and one woman. The rope was not strong enough to carry them all,... Read more »

HOW TO TELL YOU ARE GROWN UP

DEAR DAD LETTER

A father passing by his son's bedroom, was astonished to see the bed  was nicely made, and that everything was picked up and tidy.... Read more »

HOW MEN CAN MAKE A WOMAN HAPPY

It's not difficult to make a woman happy.  A man only needs to be:  1. a friend 2. a companion 3. a lover 4. a brother... Read more »

MEN EARRINGS

A man is at work one day when he notices that his co-worker is wearing an earring.  This man knows his co-worker to be a normally ... Read more »

ANNUAL PHYSICAL

70-year-old George went for his annual physical. All of his tests came back   with normal results. Dr. Smith said, "George, every... Read more »

MARRIAGE LIES

There was this couple that was married for 20 years, and every time they made love the husband always insisted on shutting off the lig... Read more »

THE SURGERY

A man was in a terrible accident, and his "manhood" was mangled   and torn from his body. His doctor assured him that modern... Read more »

WHY DID YOU HAVE TO DIE

A man visiting a cemetery heard a second man who was kneeling at a nearby grave crying-out loudly, "Why did you have to die?!!? W... Read more »

CONFESSION

The elderly Italian man went to his parish priest and asked if the priest would hear his confession.  "Of course, my son,&quo... Read more »

IMPORTANT RULES FOR MEN

1. It's important to have a woman who helps at home, who cooks from time to time, cleans up and has a job.  2. It's import... Read more »

RIDING THE CAMEL

A captain in the foreign legion was transferred to a desert outpost. On his orientation tour he noticed a very old, seedy looking came... Read more »

GEORGE THE MAILMAN

It was George the Mailman's last day on the job after 35 years of carrying the mail through all kinds of weather to the same neigh... Read more »

JOE, YOU'RE A VET

Doctor Joe had slept with one of his patients and had felt guilty all day long.  No matter how much he tried to forget about it, h... Read more »

TOILET SEAT

A man decides to take the opportunity while his wife is away to paint the wooden toilet seat. The wife comes home sooner than expected,... Read more »

HAD SEX WITH A PARROT

An old man sitting at the mall watched a teenager intently. The teenager had spiked hair in all different colors: green, red, orange, ... Read more »

ANTI SLEEP TACTIC

One day Mrs. Jones went to have a talk with the minister at the local church. "Reverend," she said, "I have a problem, ... Read more »

A HUNDRED DOLLAR BILL

Larry gets home late one night and his wife, Linda, says, "Where in the hell have you been?"  Larry replies, "I was ... Read more »

YOU FINISH

A virile, middle aged Italian gentlemen named Guido was relaxing at his favorite bar in Rome when he managed to attract a spectacular ... Read more »

YOU BETTER CHANGE OIL

A man 80 years of age married a young lady. A year later he carried her to the hospital, and she had a baby.  The nurse said to the ... Read more »

OR WHAT

A man goes to his doctor and complains that his wife hasn`t wanted to have sex with him for the past six months.  The doctor tells t... Read more »

BARRACKS DOOR

The manager hired a new secretary. She was young, sweet, and polite.  One day while taking dictation, she noticed his fly was open... Read more »

CATCHING THE GORILLA

A man walked into his backyard one morning and found there was a gorilla in a tree. He called a gorilla-removal service, and soon a se... Read more »

SEX WITH TARZAN

One day Jane met Tarzan in the jungle. She was very attracted to him and, during her questions about his life, she asked him how he ma... Read more »

24 HOURS TO LIVE

A man returns from the doctor and tells his wife that the doctor has told him he has only 24 hours to live. Given this prognosis, the ... Read more »

OLD CURSE

An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has been living with for the last 40 years.  The Wizard says,... Read more »

WAITING FOR HAIR CUT

A guy sticks his head into a barber shop and asks,  "How long before I can get a haircut?"  The barber looks around ... Read more »

PICKLE SLICER

There was a man who had worked his whole life in a pickle factory. One day he came home and told his wife that he had been fired from ... Read more »

PLAYING A FEW GAMES OF POOL

Mick's wife was furiously humping away with her husband's best mate, Peter, when suddenly the phone rang. She hopped out of be... Read more »

RUNNING NAKED

A woman was having an affair while her husband was at work. One day she was in bed with her boyfriend when, to her horror, she heard h... Read more »

MARRIAGE LIFE

Although this married couple enjoyed their luxury fishing boat together, it was the husband who was behind the wheel operating the boa... Read more »

DYING OF THIRST

Two guys are stranded in the desert dying of thirst. As they're walking along they see a little shack. They run up to it and knock... Read more »

Thursday, January 26, 2012

THE CONTEST

Two young men decided to make a bet as to which one of them could make love more times in one night. They agreed that sunrise would be... Read more »

CARMEN

A gent spots a nice looking girl in a bar goes up and starts small talk. Seeing that she didn't back off he asked her name.  &qu... Read more »